You meet someone. There’s an attraction. Phone numbers
are exchanged, time is spent, and things evolve. Feelings have developed for a
while now. All that’s left to do is…have sex right? Show him/her how much you
like them? Or maybe it’s just been awhile and you need a little “sexual
healing”. WRONG! Let me explain why…
God said to wait til marriage. Period!
Remember as a kid your parents would tell you to do something? If you were bold
enough to ask why, unlike myself, they’d respond something like “Because I said
so!” As harsh as that statement is, it’s almost the same thing with God. He’s
not a dictator god in heaven with an iron fist “Do as I say or else!” On the
contrary He’s more loving than we’ll ever know. You see, even now you can look
back at what your parents said and realize they kept you from certain things
all in your best interest. They knew what was best for you at the time, whether
the knowledge came from life’s lessons or being older and smarter than you. We
all were created by the Almighty Most Holy God, it’s safe to trust Him if He
said to wait. For most people, unfortunately this reasoning isn’t good enough.
So what’s the big deal? Why can’t sex be just that? When a man and woman come together
physically, they experience intimacy on a level that no other human
relationship can match. Think of the person you’re possibly sleeping with
right now, or the last person you slept with. That bond you have with that
person is nothing like how you feel about anyone else; friends, siblings, and
even parents. Genesis 2:24 says “A man leaves his father and mother and is
united to his wife, and they become one flesh” This was the first marriage
known to man. There was no ceremony and no proposal, only the physical act of
the two, man and woman, becoming “one flesh”. People are so quick to say
marriage is only a piece of paper and while that is important, it’s not what
binds a marriage in God’s eyes. Every single person you’ve every laid down
with, let fondle you, or had oral sex with is an act of marriage. 1 Corinthians
7:1-2 says “…It is good for a man not to have sexual
relations with (or touch) a woman. But because of the
temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each
woman her own husband”. It is better for you to marry and have
sex in the will of God, than to have casual sex. Would you be happy if you had
to marry the last person you slept with? When the Lord said “they shall become
one flesh” that’s literally what happens! The man enters the woman’s body
becoming ONE FLESH! There’s just no bond like it. You are united with that
person, forever, in every way humanly possible.
Sex isn’t only physical. All mankind were created
differently than every other animal and beast on the planet. We were created in
God’s image and likeness, tripartite,
or having 3 parts, while still being one person: a body, spirit, and soul (“…may your spirit, soul, and body be kept
intact and blameless at our Lord Jesus Christ’s coming” 1 Thessalonians 5:8). Because
we’re all composed of a spirit and soul, physical intercourse cannot occur with
our flesh without involving these two components.
Let me give a brief description of each. Your soul is composed of your mind (Lam.
3:20), your emotions (Song of Solomon 1:7), and your will (Job 7:15, 6:7). To
put it simple your soul is you, without your physical body. Your spirit is the God-breathed eternal
essence within you (Genesis 2:7). It’s the intangible part of you. It is your
spirit that connects you with God. Some may be spiritually dead, if he/she
hasn’t accepted Christ into their lives (Colossians 2:13): “And you, who were dead
in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive
together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses,”. For clearer understanding, I may have
to write an entire blog regarding that verse. Just know regardless if you’re
spiritually dead or alive, you still have one. It is made up of your conscience,
fellowship, and intuition.
If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. – 1 Cor 15:44
If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. – 1 Cor 15:44
When two bodies are joined in flesh, they are
joined in spirit, as well as the soul. As stated above, it is the spirit that connects us to God.
Picture this; you are having sex in a church pulpit. The place where the Pastor
preaches the Word and not everyone is allowed to sit. Try to imagine yourself
getting it on right there in the sanctuary. I don’t know about you but that’s
an image I’d rather not think about. In God’s eyes that’s what occurs every
single time you have any sexual contact with a person you have not married
(officially). Sex is how two married
people commune with one another and God at the same time. Granted your
spirit isn’t in an actual church, but because our bodies are “God’s temple and His Spirit lives in us”
1 Corinthians 3: 16, makes the thought even more unbearable. Our bodies, both
physical and spiritual, are not ours to do whatever pleases us at any given
moment. We were created in God’s image and will return back to Him. We are not our own. Erwin Lutzer, senior Pastor of Moody Church, explains in his book Putting Your Past Behind You: "Sex creates a soul tie between two people, forming the most intimate of all human relationships...Once a man and woman have had sex together, nothing can be the same between them ever again."
Intercourse has a
God-given purpose, at the right time with the right person. Think logically for
a second. Would that break-up have been so devastating if there was no sex
involved? God designed sex just for
marriage so the unmarried folk wouldn’t have to deal with the pain or
complications sex can bring into our lives. He knows and fully understands our
desire for physical pleasure. He also knows the connection it brings and damage
it can cause if done outside His will, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every
other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” 1
Corinthians 6:18.
My mom gave me a
book called “60 Things God said about Sex”
by Lester Sumrall when I left for college. There was one particular story my
mind tends to go back to. He discusses how even the earliest societies, who’ve
never heard the gospel of Christ have some form of sexual restrictions; showing
we as a creation know, even if only on the smallest level, that sex is a
serious and committed experience. While visiting Paraguay he attended a jungle
wedding. It was a very simple wedding to say the least, but the country’s
custom is what was interesting. The boy was not permitted to touch any girl,
except the one he would marry. Sumrall goes on to discuss Muslim women, and how
they must conceal their beauty from any man but her husband. And in China the
parents of a small boy chose his bride while he was still a child, but he was
not permitted to see her until their wedding day. Each village understands the charms of a woman are such a privilege, that
only her husband should be the one to enjoy them.
The Lord is
powerful enough to control us, but gracious enough to grant us free will. It is
your free will to choose to do with your body as you please. I can only pray
you’ll come to understand the significance of choosing to become celibate. Or
stay pure if you’ve never had any sexual contact. The sexual appetite is
extremely powerful and difficult to overcome. Almost every person, male or
female, who engages in sex very often with multiple partners are trying to fill
a void. The void could be love, loneliness, depression, hurt, anger, or just
plain hormones. If by now you haven’t received any gratification, I can assure
you it will never happen. That void can only be filled by God. I urge you to
trust Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. 1 Corinthians 6:13 says “‘Food is meant for the stomach
and the stomach for food’ —and God will destroy both one and the other. The
body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the
body.” God has called us to honor our bodies that He Himself dwells in.
as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all
ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body,
whether by life or by death. 21 For
to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. - Philippians
1:20-21
With Love,
Karen
